LittleFlower

This morning in the gym was so much fun. A few of the girls from my office work out there before work with me. I used to prefer working out by myself…. getting lost in my own world. But that was when I was anti-social. Now I’m delighted to see some of the girls there so I can chat away to them if I want. I even find myself talking to total strangers in the changing rooms… Well I tend to see the same faces every morning. There’s only about 15 of us who religiously go to the gym for 7am every morning!

Well, today at work one of the girls told me I was fading away, that I had lost a load of weight. I’m not good with compliments. They just make me feel very uncomfortable. So I said thanks and quickly changed the subject.

This weekend, my boyfriend also noticed a change. I was sitting on the couch, and whatever way he looked at me, he said “your jeans are falling off you…. have you lost weight again?”

I have to explain this….. he doesnt want me to lose weight. In fact, he gets worried everytime I look like I’ve lost some. I lost too much weight too quickly when I was training for the Worlds last summer and got really sick looking. He’s afraid I’ll go down that path again. I havent told him that I’m on a diet, because he would only get cross, and worried, and he has enough on his plate at the moment.

If he asks again, then I’ll tell him I’m watching what I eat…. but that I’m not doing what I did last summer (eating only 700cal a day and working out 2.5 hours a day). I’m doing this in a healthy way this time and that I feel absolutely fantastic!

I only wish I could see the changes in myself that everyone else appears to be seeing. I suppose that recognition will come with time.