41 - Thursday - losing it all
And I mean it all. This weight, the poylp in my nose and sinus, my appetite, my drive (in more ways than one) and possibly my job.
I work as a secretary for a Building Contractor. I was told going into the job that this job would suit me going back to college part time because the work wasnt stressful and they as a company were looking for someone who would stay with them for a prolonged period of time. Perfect job. EXCEPT, they did tell a bit of a fib.
One: this job is very stressful at times. I’m employed as a junior secretary on the lowest pay scale, yet I do more than the senior secretary to the directors, who gets paid about 10K more than me a year.
Two: my job isnt safe. The Construction Industry in Ireland has taken a nose dive in the past few months (pretty much like every industry in this country at the moment). So far this week, 4 people in the office have been let go. I know of 2 more that are getting the sack, but that dont know it yet. 2 of the men here have been asked to take early retirement. Most of the lads on site are losing their jobs as soon as the site is handed over. So far, about 20 people on site and 8 people in the office have been let go. It looks like they’re halfing every department. This company has 2 full time secretaries and only enough work for 1. I was the last in, and I’m junior to the other woman. So right now I’m just waiting for the envitable call up to HR to be given my notice. It;s only 2 weeks notice, so it doesnt look good for finding work before bills and rent have to be paid.
And I’m waiting to get this polyp out, which will set me back another week. I hope to goodness that I get called for surgery in the next week or two while I’m still with this employer. They are really good to their employees (when they’re not sacking them!) so it would be best that I’m still employeed by them when I go in for the surgery.
So right now, I’ve no appetite. With all that’s going on, I actually feel sick and dont want to eat anything. Had my dinner at 1:30pm, it’s now 4:15pm and I dont feel one bit hungry. My tummy’s all up in a heap. Suppose it will help with the weightloss!!
Ok…. something’s happening to me at the minute, and I dont know whether it’s due to the weightloss or due to the pill I’m taking right now (Microlite). I have totally lost my sex drive. I mean, I have no interest what so ever in sex. None. I would sooner sleep that have it. I keep telling my b/f I dont want to when he beings it up. He usually ends up convincing me otherwise, but I really dont enjoy it. And I think it’s getting worse. And I dont know whether it’s because of the pill, or because I’m losing weight and he’s hassling me a bit about it. This has been going on for months now……. I dont know what to do. I want to change my head around. I mean, I used to like it. Now I’d sooner do without it. Ok, not really a weightloss issue… but man, if it’s linked to my weightloss… I’d be devistated!!!
A lot of pills esp. birth control can cause you to lose your sex drive. You might want to talk to your doctor and see if there is something else you can try because what is the use of BC if you don’t need it. Also depression can cause it. With everything that is going on could you have some depression. I am not trying to offend you but I do have a history with both issues. As for weightloss I don’t know about this one.
Hang in there. I agree with the comment above. You should talk to your doctor about no sex drive. Pills has a lot side effects. That’s why I don’t like them.
Speak to your GP about your lack of libido. I am not familar with microlite (I thought it was wee one man aeroplane!). There are many reasons for a lack of sex drive, and stress and financial worries are definitely some of the causes. Go to your GP and if he/she can’t help, ask to be referred. I presume the doctor, consultants, etc are all available free of charge in the Republic of Ireland as it is here in the UK.
Keep looking for other jobs. You have a lot to offer. If you do lose your job, then that can be a real turning point, and frees you to do something new. You’re not happy there, so apart from the financial concerns, it’s not going be as bad as you think. You will find another job, aybe a different kind of job, whatever the economic forecast.
About your lack of appetite. Everyone gets like this from time to time, so don’t worry too much. Just eat light meals. You only ate at 1:30, so I wouldn’t expect to very hungry just over 3 hours later. How about a nice bowl of soup tonight? Your fish soup recipe is delicious. Or I like tomato soup when I feel a bit under the weather, or Marks & Spencers fresh mushroom soup, which you can find in the chilled foods area. Neither are fattening and both are really tasty.
Thanks for the blog comment yesterday. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a sex drive either, well the same one from the beginning of our relationship.
Sounds like you’re under a lot of stress; this may effect your sex drive too. When I worked for my previous company, the industry was dying. Like you I always wondered when am I going to get that pink slip. But I left and got a better job with a better and more secure company.
Yes, I agree. Start looking for a job now. Put your resume out there in those job search engines like monster. Prepare yourself for the worse and you’ll be ok.
Hang in there!

Congrats on day 41! I will sure be praying for you, you have so much on your plate. Hugs!

You have a lot on you right now. I lose my appetite when Im dealing with very stressful emotions. Not eating properly can actually hold my weight loss
That stinks cause you figure you should at least have a reward of a loss.
Hang in there girl, and good luck on this surgery.
The sex drive issue could be pill related. Ive dealt with it due to stress or depression, but never weight loss. As a matter of fact the weight loss usually brings increased desire, maybe due to feeling better about myself.
The job situation…it wouldnt hurt to look, but you said yourself that you do much more than the senior sec…maybe you will be staying since you carry your load and so much else.
Just my thoughts…hope something helpful in the ramblings