So I did it……
I broke up with him last night. He came over after tag rugby and just sat in the armchair opposite me and said “no small talk… say what you need to say”. So I did. I told him I didnt feel the same way about him anymore etc etc. He said that he was surprised, but kinda knew it was coming. He wasnt happy about it at all. I stoped talking about 5 or 10 minutes into it because I’d said my piece. He just kept saying over and over how pi**ed off he was that I was feeling like this for so long and he didnt know about it. I just told him there was no point in telling him earlier because i was trying to figure things out myself and he would have gotten too sensitive about it. Then he kept saying how he always saw himself marrying me some day… and I said that that was something I couldnt see happening at this stage.
So the whole break up lasted about 20 minutes max. He got up to leave, stood behind me where I was sitting on the couch, held my head in his hands and kissed me… then said “I really hope you change your mind. I really do”.
So he left… I had a good cry for myself whilst texting my sister, my 3 good friends and my Mom and Dad to let them know we’d broken up. I have to say my friends were brilliant and I’m looking forward to seeing them this weekend to get a load off my chest. And my housemate was brilliant too. She got back from Tesco with her b/f and called me down to see how i was after it… and the 3 of us sat around the table eating Jelly Babies until about midnight talking.
It took me forever to go to sleep last night, and I couldnt get up and go to the gym before work like I’d planned. Now I just feel drained. Totally drained. I dont want to eat, or work or anything. Just want to go back to sleep. I booked a hair appointment for me for this evening after work… cut and colour. I’m not letting myself go home straight after work just to go straight to bed. My housemate told me last night that I was so strong, that I’d get through this…. and she’s right. I am strong and I will get through this. And maybe this break up is for the best. I have changed so much in the past few months. Maybe this was the final change needed to really help me get my life back on track.
So yesterday… other than the feed of Jelly Babies after the break up (!!!) my eating was really clean. I went out for a 5 mile run last night after work and my earphones for my ipod stopped working about 2 miles into the run… I was sooooooo tempted to stop running. I hate running without something in my ears or a running partner to pace me. But I told myself… what will happen in the races or the marathon if your ipod stops working or falls and breaks? So I kept going… but it was tough!
I focussed on my breathing and when my legs started to yell “I WANT TO STOP” when I was running up the hills, I told them “tough - suck it up”. And they did as they were told!
5 miles in 45 minutes.
That’s 9 minute miles with hills included! Not too shabby. My right hamstring and my back was hurting a little bit after. Without my music or running partner I tend to land heavy when I run. I dont know why. I just land flat footed instead of on my toes and then rolling onto my foot. I woke up a few times during the night with low back pain, but it’s feeling ok today. The hamstrings a bit sore.. but I’ll give it a good long stretch out tonight after I walk back from the hairdressers. No running today… it’s a break day before the 7 mile run tomorrow morning.
Right so…. that’s that for now… gotta go do some work here at work. Have a great Friday Buddies.
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U know how I feel about this, You know I am here for you and you are in my thoughts…
Have this weekend for You xxx
Take Care of yourself and be proud of your strengthxxx
P.S Hope your hair turns out beautiful
x
Hi Blaithin
I was wondering all day yesterday whether you would do it last night - well done to you - sounds like you are sad but philosophical about it
Well done on your run - that was the level of running I was at in 2002-2004 5 miles 45 minutes - i must get back into it - I loved that running body I had - everywhere was toned and felt tight and legs were bouncy/springy - Do you know what I mean ?
Arent you off out for cocktails with the girls ? Mmmmm, have a Mohito for me!
Shelli X
Well done…Sounds like you stuck to your guns. You are strong and you will get through this! Will we get to see your hair? I hope so!
Aww, I am sorry u r down but I bet ur right, this is prob something that needed to happen so that you can put all the pieces of you back together as u continue to change. I wish you well in working through your feelings. Ur strong and I know u will keep doing what you need to in order for that to happen
Enjoy getting your hair done and thanks for your support, B 
i’m kind of at a loss as to what to say right now. i guess.. something along the lines of things may not be so easy at the moment with the break up, but they will get easier and it is for the best. you are strong, you will get through this and it’ll only make you stronger. hugs, you. i wish there was more i could do than offer a few words via the computer!
as for the running… 9 miles an hour is “not shabby”?!! i’d say that’s damn good!! granted, i’m not a runner, but still- the few times i’ve run on the treadmill i have managed to get up to 9 mph, and that was NOT an easy run. and it wasn’t for 45 minutes. and it wasn’t with hills. and it wasn’t outside. all of which makes things a LOT harder in my opinion. you rock!!
and i’m seconding grapeape- i’d like to see the hair!
Thinking of you….. x
you are strong… Good for you. I was always a baby and made sure i was broken up with. I could never do it. So good for you. Hair color and cut sounds great for you to get a new look. Show us pictures when done.
5 mile run in 45 minutes and without music. I am so flipping jealous. I did 5 miles in 57 minutes .. and was so proud but I want 45 dang it… good for you.
Awwwwww thanks guys!!!!!
Well it sounds like it went a bit easier then you expected, so that’s good. I know it was hard for you, and there are worse things you could have fallen onto then jelly babies. Thank God there were no Thornton’s around!!! I’m off work today so email me at my yahoo if you need me! (((((Blaithin))))) Love you girlie!!
Have to go quickly but hand in there B, not 100% sure what is going on since I caught only tidbits here and there of what’s been going on, but hope you are ok! Take care of yourself!!
Please check your mod folder, ate my comment
Well I am proud of you. You set out to do it and did it for you!
Hang in there, breakups are hard
OH HON, WOW, he handled it better then I thought.
Hang it there. IT won’t be easy for a while. Will you remain friends or is it cut and dry?
I was thinking of you…wondering how things went. I’m also surprised at his reaction. I’m also very happy with it..at the end..giving you that kiss and saying he hopes you change your mind. I say that went pretty darn well!!
So, on to new and better things for ya girl. Great job on the run. I hope you have a great day girl!