LittleFlower

Yesterday I may have been over my caloires, but I didnt drink any alcohol. I really wanted to after college, and I really wanted to order a pizza, or have a chinese or something bad…. but I didnt. Instead I swept all the floors, tidyed the place up a bit and made my dinner for work today (chicken and veggie homemade from scratch - very proud of my low fat currys!). I did go to bed a little too late (it was after 12am when I finally got into bed) but other than that… it was a better day. A little binge on biscuits after my dinner in work yesterday (I ate 5 before I stopped myself)…. but I’ve a plan for today to not do that.

So today, I’m going to have my dinner AFTER a walk. I have an hour off for lunch, so I’m going to go for a 30 minute fast trot around where I work, and then when i get back I’m going to have my dinner. by the time I’ve had it, the hour will be up… so no time for tea and biscuits.

This week has been a rough one on me. I need to pick myself up. I know I’m strong… I’m a hardass when it comes to weightloss… I’m going to be hard on myself. I know how to do this. I’ve done it before when I got to my lowest weight of 136lbs. So what I did today is visualise the motivation, dedication and will to lose weight that I had the last time. I have to keep picturing myself doing all the training I did for the Worlds, the diet I kept (I’m doing it HEALTHY this time though… no living off bananas!). Like this morning when I got into work after the gym, instead of waiting for my breakfast break at 10am (or whenever the girl who releaves me feels like doing so!) I had a kiwi…. I normally wouldnt eat anything and would try to hold off…. but I thought “Girl, you’ve just done cardio for an hour…. get some healthy carbs into you… and some fibre”… BAM… Kiwi got ate!

And it did work…. when I hit a slump at 9:15am and I felt like a chocolate bar (I’m on reception this morning, so chocolate is always close at hand) I was tough on myself. I said NO….. you do NOT need that. You are NOT allowed to eat that. Suck it up girlie…. wait for breakfast. SO I did… I drank my water, had my porridge for breakfast, and then a “highlights” instant hot choc (only 40 cal a mug). So far so good this morning.

This week, I’m only going to focus on 2 things to change -

1.  No alcohol. At all. No question and no excuses. I have to break this cycle because it’s only hurting me. I’m a nicer, more positive person without it. Even with Mom up this weekend and she’ll want to drink wine, I have to be strong……

2. NO CHOCOLATE AND BISCUITS AT WORK!!!! None…. nada. I plan to blog in 7 days time and say I had no chocolate or biscuits at work.

So… just these two changes for this week. That’s all. I’m going to make just these changes and stick by them. After a week, I’m going to add one more to the list. Only one. Bit by bit.

Thanks a million for all the support yesterday. I really needed it.