LittleFlower

Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday………………… (deep breath)….Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday,Friday, Friday, Friday …. Friday, Friday, Friday !!!

 You may have noticed I’m kinda happy about the fact that it’s Friday!!!

End of another week, I stood up on my scale (I do my Rockstars weigh in on Friday when I know I’ll be spending the weekend with my b/f) and I’m the same weight as last week. Deep breath. Darn it! And I was so good this week too. It’s like my body is punishing my for binging like a hog 2 weeks ago, and is saying “here now missus, if you think you can shove all that food down our throat, I’ll cling onto it just to teach you a lesson not to do it again”. So I’ll put up with the maintain, keep going the way I’m going, and seriously look at matters if the number on the dumbass scale doesnt go down next week.

Ok… not letting that ruin my good mood.

Have any of ye heard Pink’s song “Rockstar”?!!!! It’s absolutely fantastic. It was playing on MTV Hits this morning just as I was finishing my run, and it’s been stuck in my head all day. I love her songs…. even the depressing ones usually make me feel a bit better, wierd, I know!

Ok so, this weekend, well… tonight…. I have to go to my b/f’s friends 30th birthday party. It’s not so much a party, just an excuse for a load of them to meet in a pub and drink, alot. I’m kinda looking forward to it. I havent seen this guy in months and it would be good to catch up with him… and tell him he’s getting old…. and that his red hairs going grey….. …. yes, I am a bit evil!!! Ha ha…..

And then I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend with my b/f… cuddled up on the couch no doubt…. we’re planning a night in with a dvd tomorrow night and he said he’d cook me dinner. Now, for those of you who know my blogs, you’ll know how much I really dont like eating dinner made by other people, other than myself…. well, except for Dominos Pizza…. and, er, Chinese…. I mean dinner at other people’s houses! He know’s my hang ups and he says he’s come to terms with them a bit. But he still pushes the dinner-subject. I suppose, I have to give in…. but I dont have to eat all of it. I have eaten one of his dinners before, and it was gorgeous…. hmmmm…. anyway, suppose it’s better than ordering pizza !

Oh and did I tell ye I got my date for my surgery? 1st of December…. that means I’ll be polypless for Christmas and feeling healthy for the 1st time in about 2 years. I cant wait. My aunt said she’d drive me to the hospital and pick me up after, so there wont be any need for Mom to come up to me. Thank God. We’re on rocky road again… so I’m maintaining my distance from her so I dont get hurt by her again. Things are going too good in my life for her to screw it up again.

Right…. think that’s it for now… hope ye all have a great Friday and a fantastic weekend.

… from the past weekend. It was brilliant. After work on Friday one of the girls came over to mine to get ready to go out with the lads from work. We met them in the pub near work and had a few drinks there before my boyfriend came in and we all went into town to meet up with the site lads in a pub called Whelans. It was such a great night. Site lads and office lads generally dont mix too well. Initially it was a little awkward… which I didnt particularly like. So, I started to put faces to people I’d only talked to before on the phone or sent documents out to…. and then I told the lads from the office to cop on a bit and make more of an effort with the site lads. I mean, this was going to be the last time we’d all be out together as the majority of the people there had been made redundant. And it worked! Brilliant night. I didnt leave until about 1am when I’d had more than enough. Kinda sad saying buy to all my friends though. Most of them are leaving Ireland in the next few weeks to look for work in Australia, New Zeland and Saudi Arabia.

The next day… yeah… I didnt get up until 1pm or so! And then we just lazed around the house and did nothing… well, we did go out for food and coffee. The panini I ordered though was disgusting so I only ate a few bites of it. And that was pretty much my breakfast and lunch for Saturday. I knew we were going out with my b/f’s frind and his girlfriend Saturday night, so I said I’d better have a dinner before I went out. Got home, and no food in my press. Not surprising considering I still hadnt done my food shopping for the week. So I ordered a pizza… BUT it was a small one and I knew I had loads of calories saved for it. Considering all I’d had that day was 4 or 5 bites of the outside crust of a panini!! Saturday night was good craic too.  And then Sunday day, we slept in until about 1 again!!!! Such a good, lazy weekend.

What I did do this weekend though, was make my room a study-friendly room. i cleared off my desk (I havnt actually seen the top of my desk in about a year and a bit because of all the books and magazines on it!) and I cleared out my press and decided what books I’ll keep, what one’s I’ll sell and whether or not to give my Harry Potter books to my baby sister. That’s a toughie. Still havent totally decided on that one!

When I was cleaning out my press, I found diaries I’d kept when I left home. The earliest one I found was from 2003. So strange to read over what I read back then. And reading them gave me flashbacks to the way I was back then. I could see how I’d go through months of feeling ok about myself, and then one day I’d wake up, step on the scale, see 180lbs and then start fasting. Only to binge every Friday, Saturday and Sunday and land myself back up to 180lbs on the Monday. I did this all through college. And from reading the diaries, I could see how obsessed I was with taekwon-do! It was all I wanted to do. I just wanted to make the national team, and I think that’s kinda what spurred on my bulimia.

One date in my diary really made me realise this. I’d just gotten back from winning a national title and my college coach came up to me at training to have a “chat”. He told me that the national coach was really interested in me and wanted to put me on the national ladies team once I got to black belt (I was 2 belts away from black at that stage). But then he got all awkward ( I actually wrote down how awkard he was because he SAID he felt awful having to bring this up with me). He said that the national coach wanted me to lose about 3 stone so I’d be in a better weight category for my height. I had a year to do it, and he asked me if I would try to do it. And I said I would. I was just so thrilled to be spotted for the team…. but also so disapointed in myself for not being lighter.

So for the next year, my college coach would keep a track on my weight, and ask me every week how my weightloss was going. He take me out training every morning from 7-9am before college and then I’d have 4 classes of taekwon-do a week on top of that. But of course, my weight pretty much didnt budge much because I was still binging. I did lose a stone, but that was it. But it was enough to get me on the national team.

Once I was on the team and going to all the international competitions, the pressure was piled on to lose weight. I lost another stone. I was just under 11 stone, which was the lightest I’d been since I started college. Still it wasnt enough. I spent another year at this weight and then the Worlds came along, and with it, pressure to get down to another weight category. I was told I wouldnt be able to go to the Worlds unless I got down to -63kg which is about 138lbs.  But the coaches only told me this 2 months before actual registration for the event (registration takes place 4 months before the actual event). Now, this may seem like alot of time to lose 14lbs. But for someone who was binging 4 out of 7 days a week….. it was a nightmare. For the month coming up to the official national weigh in to make sure I was ok for the international weigh in, I lived off bananas and apples (I’ve only recently been able to eat bananas again!). I was exercising 4 hours a day. I was exhausted. But I made my weigh in and I got to compete at the Worlds, which was amazing. And I was on the ladies team who won the Worlds… which is unbelieveable and something I will always treasure.

I love my sport, but since then I havent gone back to it. I blamed an overtraining injury I picked up and that still niggles now and again. But really, I dont know if I can put up with all that pressure to maintain low weights and lose more weight. I used to love competing as a colour belt… just things all changed when I got to black and it got way more serious. Maybe in another year I might go back, or make it a new years resolution. My b/f keeps saying he’ll train me just to get my speed and flexibility back. But it feels a bit strange him training me! I mean, I was his instructor for a year! But, I might take him up on the offer. He knows I’ve bulimia now, and he knows I’m slow to go back to the sport because of that. And he’s slow to encourage me to go back fighting because of that. But think he just wants me to train with him again. We had great craic when we did. Maybe I will…. just cant yet.

Wow…. talk about a rambling blog! Anyway, I told my b/f about the diaries and how they made me feel when I was reading them. He said “do me a favour, and just throw them away. I’ll get you a new diary so you can start afresh”. I told him that I would throw them away. Reading them brings back good and bad memories, but also show me how far I’ve come in such a short space of time.

Yup…. I’m still growing, it’s taking a bit of time. But I’m getting there

I’m afraid if I say this too loud….. I’ll scare away my weightloss…..

 I had to do my Rockstars weigh in this morning, because I will be with my b/f all weekend, so wont have access to my scale.

I lost…..

2lbs!!!!

Yeaaayyyy!!!

Shhhh now… calm down… if I get too excited about these things, I only end up sabotaging my efforts.

Ok, change of subject.

Today at work is surreal. All the young lads who were let go are finishing up today. No one feels like doing anywork. Not surprising, but I’m busy as I have to do all that work for them!!! I’m really sad about all my friends finishing up. I said it to them “who am I going to talk to now at work?!” So we’re all heading out for drinks after work. I’m so sad they’re leaving. I’m going to miss them all so much. Now there’s more woman working in the company than there are men… NOT a good thing! meeeewwwwww bitchiness galore!!! Ah sure, I’ll just stay out of it… I’ve my own little desk in my own corner downstairs… with no one around me now…. brb…. just hear one of my friends come in from site to say his goodbyes before he leaves…. I may cry a bit…. brb

Ok I’m back…

Not good

But everyone’s in good form. Sure, all the lads are young. They know that if they cant get work in Dublin, then can either move or just head over to Australia and New Zeland or Saudi Arabia. There was a career fair in the RDS in Dublin a few weekends ago and they were all at it getting job ideas. Most of them are tinkking about leaving the country for a few years until things start to calm down here a bit. I would blame them.

Now, back to happy news… I did a full 60 minutes of tough going cardio this morning before work. It was going to be my last gym session for this week so I was determined to make it count. And I’m still buzzing after it!!!! 40 minutes on the crosstrainer and 20 minutes running on an incline and sprints on the treadmill…. 917calories burned!!! Woohooo!!!! And this weekend I’m going to be with my boyfriend so I wont be tempted to binge because he’ll be with me. I can not WAIT for this weekend. I really cant. I just need a break from the madness at work and just relax for a few days.

Right, I’m going to do a small bit of work before lunchtime…. treating myself to a Chinese for lunch…. BUT I’m going healthy…. vegtable chop suey…. checked the calories in the restaurant I order from, and it’s just under 600cal!!! Perfect for my dinner.

Happy Friday Buddies!!!

Last night when I got home from work, I went straight up to bed. I couldnt talk to my flat mate… I was too mad at her (I’ll get to why later) and I was too cross about work and I was just plain exhausted. So I was in my bed for 5:30pm and I got up at 8pm…. feeling much brighter. My flatmate’s boyfriend was over (he practically lives at our place) so I sat chatting to him for a while Then my flat mate comes in with a “present” for me from Edinbourugh (they were there for a long weekend) - it was a big slab of chocolate coconut. Why on earth does she continue to bring me back food from her trips? She knows I’m dieting. So I thanked her and made a mental note to put it in the bin today when she’s not around. Not safe to have that around me after last weekend.

Reason why I’m mad at her - Tuesday night I got a text from her when I was in college asking me if she could use my laptop. It’s password protected. I told her I wouldnt be home that night so I couldnt turn it on for her. When I got home in the morning, she had been in my room trying my laptop. The light was still on in the room after her… I always turn the light off. AND the laptop had been moved. My other housemate is in Morrocco at the moment, so I knew it had to be her. There’s only 3 of us in the house. So I’m mad at her for being so sneaky. But when you live with others, you will get this. She also ate most of my low fat organic yougurt!!! I’d only just openend the tub on Monday and taken a spoonful of it. When I went back to it yesterday it was half gone. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Again, deep breaths…. it happens. I may just repay the favour if I run out of milk someday!

So yesterday I had a big long chat with my b/f and I told him that I couldnt stay over at his anymore during the week when I have work, because 1) I dont get any sleep because it’s so noisey where he lives and 2) I dont get to go to the gym the next day. When I miss my morning workout, I just get narky, everything gets to me at work and then I’m too tired and fed up after work to get in a workout! Which makes me feel awful! He was disapointed, but said he totally understood. Think he might try and spend Monday nights with me though, because he doesnt have to be at work until 10am or so on Tuesdays. Things are going so well between us at the minute. He is keeping a closer eye on what I eat though. Most evenings he’ll ask me what did I eat for the day and he’ll give me that “look” if I say I only had an apple after work and nothing else. But he’s not making me eat, which was something I was afraid he’d do once I told him about the bulimia. I’m finding it easier to tell him I love him… which was something that was kinda stuck in my throat everytime I wanted to tell him. He always says it… and now when I say it to him he just smiles at me and tells me it’s good to hear me say that. And now he’s texting me loads… I have converted and non-texter to a texter!!! So nice to get a text out of the blue when I’m at work from him

He told me last night that he’s booked us a weekend away in Galway in November. Just the two of us…. and I cant wait!

Today is so much better than today. Got to the gym this morning before work, and it really does make a difference to my mood. Eventhough the gym attendant didnt open it until after 7am… which really annoys me cuz it cuts my workout short, I still managed 55 minutes of mixed cardio (crosstrainer, bike and treadmill). Got to work delighted with the work out. Only to find that the secretary upstairs was…. well… she sabotaged my work for health and safety yesterday. She deleted meeting minutes I’d typed out for their meeting today and when I confronted her about it, she flat out denied it. I was FURIOUS!!!! See, with the company downsizing, their halving their workforce. Either herself or myself will be let go. They only need 1 full time secretary. So she’s trying to make me look incompetent so I’ll get the sack. Well, by the time I was done with her, she wont be doing that again. Thank goodness I’d saved a backup of the meeting in my email and I could send it over to the manager for his meeting. You’d want eyes at the back of your head with this secretary though. Very sneaky. But, I’m not letting her ruin my day.

So my plan at the moment is to finish all my little jobs by lunchtime, get to the bank at lunch and pay off the remainder of my college fees for this year (thats €1,800 out of my account… ouch) and then hopefully this afternoon will be quiet in work and I’ll be able to do a bit of study. Plan on going to the library after work to return a book and search for the other books on my list…  try and get as many out and photocopy the relevant chapters…. these books go “missing” once the term starts!

So it’s going to be a busy busy day. I’m going to have to do my Rockstars Weigh In tomorrow morning because I’m spending the weekend with my b/f and cant weigh in when I do that. So fingers crossed I’ve lost the weight I put on last week. My clothes feel looser, so I think I have.

And it’s almost the weekend!!! Yeeaaayyyyy!!!

Well, I took a few days off from the site. I was up to my eyes with work, and college started on Monday night and I wasnt feeling myself. I still dont feel right. I just cant seem to snap out of this one. I’m not as bad as Saturday and my eating is back under control…. but I’m not happy. I’m mellow…. I think that’s the best way to describe it. Neutral mood. Suppose that’s better than being crazily depressed and low like I was all weekend!

 So yeah, college started for me on Monday night. I’m doing a degree in Psychology, but I have to do it part time at night so I can work full time to put myself through college. Each semester I have to take 4 modules. I thought this would be a piece of cake, considering I took 8 modules each semester when I did physiotherapy.

Boy, was I wrong. This semester it’s all Introduction courses.  Intro to Psychology, Intro to Cognitive Psychology, Intro to Freud and Intro to Philosophy (which is facinating by the way). And so far, from just the initial lecture in these… I have 22 books to read, 3 essays to write and an MCQ exam in 2 weeks time. Essays and MCQ are worth 30% of my final grade in these subjects. Now, panic has yet to set in. I’m finding it hard to get back to being able to study. I tried to do some yesterday before my lectures, but I was way too jaded from work. It is going to be so tough to do this course and work full time. I really want to do well this year to get me off to a good start. If I get lower than a 2.1 in my exams I may have to consider asking my employer to let me go part time…. not sure if they’ll let me…. we’ll see. I dont have to decide this until after Christmas exams anyway.

On a plus note… having something to do in the evenings (either lectures or library) keeps me from eating. Literally, all I had the last 2 nights from 5pm - bed time was an apple. Dont have time for anything else. And I’m stressing at the moment so my appetite isnt 100% (thank goodness).

Ok… going to go do a bit of work now. Just wanted to let ye know I hadnt fallen off the face of the earth into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.

Oh and it’s Wednesday…. just remembered that. This day just looked a little brighter !

Well, I fell down hard last night. Back to scratch now.

I was all by myself last night. Nowhere to go. No one around. No one was answering my texts. So I ordered pizza (medium veggi with thick crust), with wedges and icecream and washed it down with 2 bottles of whte wine.

Woke up this morning and I feel ok actually. I ended up finishing the tub of icecream. There was half left and I finished it sitting on the couch, watching the Golden Girls on tv.

Yesterday was rough. I went into town to do a bit of shopping and it just hit me out of the blue. I got really sad all of a sudden and actually almost started cryng on the bus. I went into town only to get anothe bus out of town and go home. I kept myself together until I got back to my house and then I just sat on the couch and cried for almost an hour. I dont know what came over me. Then Dad phoned for our weekly chat and that did make me feel a bit better. But then later in the evening I binged BIG time (I dont do anything in halves!!!).

Suppose I just have to pick myself up and get going again. I just feel really fat and horrible right now. I didnt tell ye this, but I went back to my old bulimic ways the past 2 weeks…. I’m ashamed to say it because I havent taken anything since March. But I did for the last 2 weeks. Havent yet today though. Then again, it’s only 10am. I really want to purge, just get this pizza and wedges out of my system… and the iecream I just ate.

Oh and I gained 2lbs this week. So much for weight going down after a plateau. This is just so frustrating. It’s like my body doesnt want to let go of the 140s. Everytime I dip my nose just a little bit under that line… I bounce right back to where I was. Damn it. It’s just feeling impossible to lose this weight. It’s like, no matter how much I work out, no mater what kind of food I eat… I still cant lose weight and end up gaining…. Damn it.

Right…. back to the half plate rule so….. really have to work on that this week. Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went over to my boyfriend’s last night and once again got no sleep. He lives across the road from a pub in Dublin City Centre, which is a rough place to be at the best of times. Mother of sweet goodness…. the fighting and shouting and screaming going on until 4am. All the garda cars and ambulances and trucks and buses going past the apartment… it was non stop. I could not sleep. Even he commented that it was loud last night, and he usually goes out like a light. I’m going to have to stop going over to his during the week. I’ve said it before, I dont take lack of sleep too well. Too tired for the gym after work. Means I’ve only been twice this week… NOT good (mental slap on the wrist to me). Next week I’ll just have to say no to staying over at his. I cant keep missing my morning work outs.

Anyway… today at work is awful. Because of the downturn in the construction industry in Ireland, my company is letting a load of people go. Basically, all the friends I’ve made in the past 8 months were let go this week. I was devistated when I heard this morning that all the lads I’m friendly with are finishing up next Friday. ALL of them. One of the guys came over to me today to talk to me about his sacking. He was just back from his honeymoon. And then he told me his wife’s 3 months pregnant with thier 1st child. There’s no construction work in Ireland now…. none. He’ll have to emmergrate. But she doesnt want to because her parents are old. So he’ll have to leave the country with a baby due in April. I almost started crying for him… he was almost crying himself. Oh my God, today was awful.

So I texted my b/f about it, but his phone is off cuz he’s still at work. So I texted Mom… I just needed to talk to someone about it because I was really upset. The text I sent went along the lines of “friends of mine let go from work today. I just want to go home now….”. The reply I go back from her was “buloney”… for those of you who dont understand Irish lingo… that’s basically slang for “bull S**t”, meaning she doesnt believe I’m as upset as I said. I texted her back “pardon”… and when she didnt answer I texted “pardon?”.

I am furious at her………. this is typical from this woman.

She doesnt get that the only friends that I have are from work. That’s all. I dont have college friends. I dont have friends from home. All I have is work and my b/f. That’s it. So when work friends are let go and have told me they are all emmegrating, I get really sad…. why cant she get that?! I swear…. that woman…. this is just typical. It’s always the case though. When I start to get close to her… she goes and shows her true colours and reminds me all over again why it is I amn’t close to her. There is no way on earth I’m having her up here with me after my surgery, just so she can put on the “concerned mother” act to all her friends at home. Case closed.

At work today one of the older employees retired. He was asked to retire early so the company wouldnt have to pay him redundancy. We just had his going away party there. There was a gorgeous cream cake… 3 layers… oh my mouth was salivating. But I got myself a big mug of tea and started talking to one of the lads at it, and just passed my slice along. I didnt have one. Not even a taste. Go me!! But being so sad all day, and this retirement thing just kinda pushed me over the edge, it all kinda helped to kill my appetite. There’s a half hour left of work and I just want to go home, have a little cry and then pull myself back together again.

But hey, it’s Friday!!!! And the weekend! No more work drama for 2 more days!!!

I’ve the entire house to myself this weekend. B/f has gone home and my housemates are gone to Edinburgh and Morrocco with their b/f and g/f…. so I is all by myself (cue Celine Dion!!!). But I’m armed with LOADS of dvds so I should be grand.

 Hope ye all have a fantastic Friday and a wicked weekend!!!!

And I mean it all. This weight, the poylp in my nose and sinus, my appetite, my drive (in more ways than one) and possibly my job.

 I work as a secretary for a Building Contractor. I was told going into the job that this job would suit me going back to college part time because the work wasnt stressful and they as a company were looking for someone who would stay with them for a prolonged period of time. Perfect job. EXCEPT, they did tell a bit of a fib.

One: this job is very stressful at times. I’m employed as a junior secretary on the lowest pay scale, yet I do more than the senior secretary to the directors, who gets paid about 10K more than me a year.

Two: my job isnt safe. The Construction Industry in Ireland has taken a nose dive in the past few months (pretty much like every industry in this country at the moment). So far this week, 4 people in the office have been let go. I know of 2 more that are getting the sack, but that dont know it yet. 2 of the men here have been asked to take early retirement. Most of the lads on site are losing their jobs as soon as the site is handed over. So far, about 20 people on site and 8 people in the office have been let go. It looks like they’re halfing every department. This company has 2 full time secretaries and only enough work for 1. I was the last in, and I’m junior to the other woman. So right now I’m just waiting for the envitable call up to HR to be given my notice. It;s only 2 weeks notice, so it doesnt look good for finding work before bills and rent have to be paid.

And I’m waiting to get this polyp out, which will set me back another week. I hope to goodness that I get called for surgery in the next week or two while I’m still with this employer. They are really good to their employees (when they’re not sacking them!) so it would be best that I’m still employeed by them when I go in for the surgery.

So right now, I’ve no appetite. With all that’s going on, I actually feel sick and dont want to eat anything. Had my dinner at 1:30pm, it’s now 4:15pm and I dont feel one bit hungry. My tummy’s all up in a heap. Suppose it will help with the weightloss!!

Ok…. something’s happening to me at the minute, and I dont know whether it’s due to the weightloss or due to the pill I’m taking right now (Microlite). I have totally lost my sex drive. I mean, I have no interest what so ever in sex. None. I would sooner sleep that have it. I keep telling my b/f I dont want to when he beings it up. He usually ends up convincing me otherwise, but I really dont enjoy it. And I think it’s getting worse. And I dont know whether it’s because of the pill, or because I’m losing weight and he’s hassling me a bit about it. This has been going on for months now……. I dont know what to do. I want to change my head around. I mean, I used to like it. Now I’d sooner do without it. Ok, not really a weightloss issue… but man, if it’s linked to my weightloss… I’d be devistated!!!

Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going……….. and going and going and going…..

This is how I feel today after 3 hours sleep last night.

Aggggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (sob)

I dont do well with lack of sleep Buddies, I really dont. I’m like a bear this morning. Went over to my boyfriends last night, because I was bored at home and dint want to risk a binge. Well, he lives right smack in the middle of Dublin’s City centre. On a bus route. And where the trucks ALL go to get on the Quays to get into our out of Dublin….. and the noise doesnt stop. Did I mention I’m a light sleeper? Oh and that I’m finding it even harder to sleep with this polyp in my nose.

Last night was awful. We went to bed around 11pm, and he just conked out. I was lieing there listening to the trucks and the buses and the lads and girls outside the flat who were fighting, and the ambulances, and the garda cars……. and I was thinking about my ear plugs that I left in my apartment. 3am and I was still awake. Every so often himself would wake up, see if I was awake, see that I WAS still awake, give me a hug, and then go off to sleep again for himself. Now, I’m laughing at the thought of it. But when I was awake to hear my alarm clock go off at 7am this morning, ouch, my head still hurts thinking about it.

Yesterday I was too knackered for the gym after work. Today, I’ve a funny feeling I’ll feel the same way. I already feel totally unmotivated to do anything today. Well, tonight, I’m staying in my place. And I’m cuddling up in my bed, with my 2 duvets (my apartment is freeeeeeeezing!) and watch Prison Break and the last episode of Greys Anatomy. I need sleep… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anyhew, just reading through the forums, I’m just so pumped to do well this week for my Green Rockstars. I may not post often in that thread, but I try to read what I missed yesterday. And I’m so happy to see my Buddy Kama doing so well… keep it up girlie. And Debbie’s having her baby… oooooooooooooooooh and cant wait to hear how she got on!

All we can do is just keep going….. keep putting one foot in front of the other and make healthy choices every step of the way. Today, I just have to take it 10 minutes, by 10 minutes, by 10 minutes…. because being this tired can be a MAJOR binge trigger for me. I’m at 39 days now… no WAY am I going back to the way I was.

Ok…. think it’s about time I did a bit of work….. I’ll check back in with everyone soon!